In an age where self-reliance is often praised and individualism is championed, the virtue of docility can feel out of place—or worse, a weakness as opposed to a strength. But far from being passive or spineless, docility is a strength rooted in humility and the desire to grow in wisdom.
What is Docility?
Docility is the virtue that enables us to willingly receive counsel from others and to be easily led by their counsel, particularly in areas where we lack experience. It guards us from the dangers of pride (e.g., thinking we know it all) and laziness (e.g., being unwilling to seek or follow good advice).
“Yet his own efforts count for much towards the attainment of perfect docility: and he must carefully, frequently and reverently apply his mind to the teachings of the learned, neither neglecting them through laziness, nor despising them through pride.” –Summa Theologiae II-II q.49 a.3
Saint Thomas describes docility as an integral part of the virtue of prudence. Since prudence involves making good decisions in the often messy, complicated world of real-life situations, Saint Thomas reminds us that no one person—no matter how intelligent—can have all the answers. Wisdom, especially in practical matters, requires learning from others:
“…prudence is concerned with particular matters of action, and since such matters are of infinite variety, no one man can consider them all sufficiently… man stands in very great need of being taught by others, especially by old folk who have acquired a sane understanding…”
— ST II-II q.49 a.3
The Wisdom of Listening
Scripture echoes this truth:
“Lean not upon thy own prudence…” — Proverbs 3:5
“Stand in the multitude of ancients that are wise, and join thyself from thy heart to their wisdom, that thou mayst hear every discourse of God.” — Sirach 6:35
Docility means trusting that others—especially the wise, the experienced, and the virtuous—can help us see clearly where we might be blind.
How Can We Grow in the Virtue of Docility?
Growing in docility requires a personal awareness and a deliberate posture of humility and openness. Here are a few concrete ways to cultivate this virtue:
- Seek Out Mentors and Listen to Them
Find people whose lives reflect wisdom—older family members, faithful friends, spiritual directors, or experienced professionals—and ask them questions.
Example: You’re discerning a career shift. Instead of Googling alone or assuming you know best, you seek out a retired mentor in the field. You sit, listen, and absorb not just their advice but their lived experience—things no internet search can give you.
- Welcome Correction Without Defensiveness
Docility doesn’t just apply when we ask for help. It also means being open when feedback or correction comes unsolicited.
Example: A friend points out that your way of speaking in meetings tends to dominate the conversation. Instead of brushing it off, you take it to prayer and ask yourself honestly, “Is there truth here?” You even thank them for their courage in telling you.
- Don’t Dismiss “Old” Advice Too Quickly
Our culture tends to idolize the new and innovative, but Saint Thomas specifically praises learning from “the ancients” because they have something we don’t: perspective.
Example: You’re planning your marriage and someone recommends reading Familiaris Consortio (a 1981 papal document on family life by Pope Saint John Paul II). Your first thought is, That’s outdated. But instead, in the spirit of docility, you read it—and find it incredibly relevant.
- Pause Before You Act—Ask for Counsel
In decisions big or small, build the habit of asking others what they think. This doesn’t mean you blindly follow everyone’s opinion, but that you recognize you’re not an island and others might possess knowledge you don’t.
Example: You’re considering moving to a new city. Instead of deciding on your own, you talk to your priest, your parents, and trusted friends. You ask, “What do you see that I might be missing?”
- Cultivate a Teachable Heart Through Prayer
Docility isn’t just about human advice—it starts with being docile to God. Ask Him in prayer to make you teachable and humble.
Example: Before a difficult conversation or a major decision, you pray: “Lord, help me to hear Your voice—even if it comes through someone else.”
Conclusion: Docility Is A Strength
Docility isn’t weakness—it’s wisdom in action. In a noisy world that prizes self-made success, the docile person quietly becomes truly wise by leaning on the experience and guidance of others, and ultimately on God.
As Saint Thomas and Holy Writ remind us, we become prudent not just by thinking hard—but by listening well. The road to wisdom is walked hand-in-hand with those who have already gone before us.
“He that walketh with the wise, shall be wise.” — Proverbs 13:20
In the next post, we’ll explore the virtue of shrewdness—a vital component of prudence—that sharpens our ability to quickly recognize the right steps to reach the right goal.